


Touch

by Katiebug445



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, LingFan Week 2017, THIS IS SO RUSHED IM SO SO SORRY I WAS PANICKING AND RUNNING OUT OF TIME, TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE LAST ONE, there's a bit of a warning about a small amount of gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 20:11:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11493897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug445/pseuds/Katiebug445
Summary: On the trip back to Xing, LanFan closes herself off in grief, and Ling tries to help.





	Touch

“LanFan?” 

 

She looked up, pulled out of her thoughts, and felt the involuntary rush of heat color her face as Ling stared at her. “Yes, my lord?” 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

Was she? No. She was far from it. She’d just lost what tiny bit of family she had, she’d lost her arm, which impaired her fighting considerably, and he’d almost died several times while in her charge - the guilt of which was eating her alive. No, she was very much  _ not  _ okay. Still, though, Ling had enough to worry about on his own without her adding her problems to it. So, with a heavy heart, she lifted her head, forced herself to smile a little, and said, “Everything is fine.” 

 

She knew that look. Skepticism filled every inch of his face, and she knew he didn’t really believe her, but what else could she say? It wasn’t his job to look after her, she had to look after herself now. “You don’t  _ look _ okay.” LanFan heard him saying. 

 

“I’m just tired. I’m ready to be back home.” Another smile. Before she could be interrogated more, she hurried on ahead to catch up with Mei, who had been strangely quiet since they left Amestris. 

 

~ 

She lay awake staring at the stars, her hand across her stomach in a small attempt to keep herself together. Her left shoulder hurt. Out in the desert, with nothing around them, the nights were freezing. The remaining bit of joint ached against the metal, which felt heavy and ice cold against her side. LanFan couldn’t stop herself from being reminded of the day she lost it, how hard it had been not to scream when the blade cut into her flesh, how exhausted she was laying in the sewer waiting for help… 

 

The Amestiran doctors had done the best they could in preparing her for the journey home - repairing the damage caused by holding up both Ling and Bradley, and fixed the few malfunctions she had experienced during her battle with the large homunculus. She had to promise she wouldn’t overdo it until she’d really learned how to move with the arm and finished recovering, but they all knew she was lying. If she was needed, she wasn’t going to just sit by and let the others fight her battle. 

 

Her battle… her battle that was just beginning. 

 

Fu wandered into her thoughts, what he might say if he were making the trip (alive) back with them, if he would be sympathetic or angry over the turn of events, and felt her heart constrict painfully. Fu… her only remaining family was now gone. 

 

The girl shut her eyes, tears welling up behind her closed lids, hating how weak she felt now, in the dark. Out here, surrounded by nothing but sand, wind, and sky, she felt smaller and more alone than she ever had in her life. 

 

LanFan was aware of eyes on her, watching her as she tried not to break down, and she had a suspicion of who it was, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She couldn’t bear to see him judging her for being so emotional right now. 

 

She pulled her blanket higher up around her shoulders and turned to her side, trying to shut the bad thoughts out for a couple hours so she could get some rest. 

 

~ 

Ling had been watching her closely since that night. She always felt his eyes on her when she would turn away, almost as if he expected her to break down at any second. Well, she wouldn’t allow herself to be that vulnerable. She couldn’t afford to break right now. She had to get a grip on herself before she messed up, made a mistake that resulted in them getting killed. She had to be stronger than this. 

 

“Lan?” Ling tried, reaching out to get her attention. 

 

She shrugged him off in silence. She couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth right now in fear of what would happen when she did. Afraid that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from letting everything out right then and there. She walked on, chin held high and shoulders set, ahead of the others. 

 

~ 

“LanFan?” he whispered in the dark. He’d been awake to hear her sniffling to herself in the huddle of blankets across from him, the hitches in her breath as she tried to steady herself, and his heart broke for her. He hated that he’d had a hand in causing her this much pain, that it was his fault Fu was gone and that there wasn’t much that he could do for her. Lanfan had retreated almost completely into herself since they’d left Amestris, and she was resisting being brought back out. 

 

It’d been nearly two weeks since she’d really spoken to him, to either of them, really, and it was beginning to hurt him more than he’d care to admit. He missed her. He missed her smile, their closeness, that feeling he got in his chest when he’d catch her blushing… 

 

In response, he heard another sniffle, and Ling decided this was enough. Quietly, he got to his feet and plopped down in the dirt beside her, staring at her and waiting to be acknowledged by his friend. “Lan, what’s wrong?” 

 

It was the touch that finally broke her. The gentleness of his hand on her arm, the warmth it brought along with it flooding itself through her entire body. She turned her head to look at him, saw the desperation in his eyes to get her to speak, and the guilt squeezed painfully at her insides. Tears spilled swiftly down her cheeks, and she curled close to him, letting the sobs wrack her small frame apart.

 

He was hurting, too. He needed her. They needed each other so much right now. 

 

“Lan…” Ling whispered, pulling her up into his arms and holding onto her tightly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed onto his shoulder, finally letting out the hurt, the guilt, and the fear of what was coming next for them. 

 

He held her so protectively, unafraid of letting her know he was there to help, that it made her cry harder. When the shudder finally rocked through her breath, when the tears wouldn’t fall anymore, and she felt empty, she finally pulled back and stared at him with watery, red-rimmed eyes. 

 

“Oh, LanFan…” Ling reached out, brushing the last remaining tears from her cheeks, his fingers lingering just a tad too long on her skin. She shut her eyes, and felt his breath getting closer to her face. Before either of them knew what was happening, his lips were on hers in the most gentle kiss she would have ever thought possible.   

 

The familiar heat rose up her neck and spilled across her cheeks again, and he was still staring at her when she looked at him again. A sheepish smile tugged at his mouth, and he leaned in again, kissing her with a little more curiosity, his hands on her cheeks and her body in his lap. 

 

She couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t believe that she was allowing this to happen. This wasn’t ever supposed to happen between bodyguard and charge. But it had been something that she’d been wanting for such a long time that she really couldn’t bring herself to care at the moment. 

 

It didn’t mean that anything had to come from it in the future, if Ling didn’t want it. But for right now, in the moment where everything felt like it was falling apart, it was everything. 


End file.
